Today’s asana practice was the worst since I came to Mysore. I was tired and my body felt stiff. I placed my mat right in front of the picture of Guruji. My body didn’t get warm soon so my mind was busy worrying. Ah! Not a good sign. But before the practice while we were queuing, Anna gave me good energy by pressing her palms on my lower back. This was so sweet and my heart was also filled with good energy. Again I practiced next to this Korean lady and I felt comfortable. I could see another Korean lady behind me and Anna in front of me. I was surrounded by kind energies :-) I was unstable in utthita hasta padangusthasana and lost my right foot. My first time losing the foot since I came here.. but it was okay. The other side was strong and stable. At some point in the seated I didn’t feel much on the lower back. I felt a bit relieved but was still feeling tired. Someone came to help me in supta kurmasana and I felt good there. Transition was okay. All the rolling ups were good surprisingly. My body was a bit in pain but my mind was very calm and in a neutral status. Setu bandhasana was same as usual: uncomfortable feeling on the neck. Back bend was okay but not super. I tried to come up from the third one but I felt there was lack of energy. Oh crap. I could hear Sharathji saying ‘walk your hands’. I could immediately feel that was for me. I walked and came up. First drop back come up was a bit hasty and I sprung forward a tiny bit. And Sharathji told me ‘don’t push me’ (in a jokingly way of course). Two other come ups were fine. I was stable enough. I can’t imagine I have (more or less) stable drop back and come up practice now.. I was only able to come up in the late August.. And with all those small pauses I had to take.. I am amazed at myself. But the lower back problem is still there.. Before catching I told Sharathji that I have back pain. He frowned his face a bit and said ‘not good’. He told me to breathe deeply. He gave me instructions to breath deep and steady. I was struggling but could catch and he moved my hands a tiny little bit higher. Grrrr luckily he told me to come up after 3 breaths and it was good. I was feeling a lot on my lower back and he gave me a good push. My mind was very clear and calm, just physically I couldn’t get rid of this pain. Yesterday, my mind was in a low status but the asana practice was good. Today my mind is in a good status but the asana practice was the worst... I am worried whether I will always have pain after the catching practice or it would slowly go away (or I get used to it). Closing was done in a conscious manner but I stayed only 50 and 20 breaths in sirsasana and half bend. I could feel around my shoulders and came down. I skipped nadi shodhana again and stayed 12 breaths in utplitih. Unlike other days, I felt the practice was a bit draining my energy. Maybe I was worrying too much about my back.. I don’t know. This annoying feeling is maximum today :-( After the closing, I talked to the lady who practiced next to me... about injuries and pain...) Today I think a lot on why I endure this pain, for whose good?, to prove what?............... I guess it’s some kind of ‘competition’ with myself.... Luckily tomorrow is a LED day followed by Sunday... I should really work on my ‘to do list’ this weekend and don’t think too much about the back pain......!! :-)
At Sharath Yoga Centre on 17/1/20 (Fri) Didn't really check the time!!
Teacher: Sharath Jois